There are approximately 18 suicides everyday among veterans returning from the combat zone, but veterans and their families often miss the signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I Always Sit With My Back to the Wall: Managing Traumatic Stress and Combat PTSD Through the R-E-C-O-V-E-R Approach for Veterans and Families, by Dr. Harry A. Croft and Rev. Dr. Chrys Parker

This new book has come to my attention on this very important topic, written by an MD and a gifted trauma therapist who have both worked with thousands of Vietnam and Gulf War vets.

The main problem with many sufferers is that they do not realize that PTSD is the cause of their volatile emotions and behaviors.   In fact, this disorder didn’t even have a scientific name until 1980.  Prior to that it was called shell shock, war neurosis or combat fatigue, terms that often suggested inadequacy or cowardice.

This book offers new hope to those who continue to suffer from their emotional injuries from war.  R-E-C-O-V-E-R stands for recognize what you suffer from, educate yourself about PTSD, connect your biology to psychology, organize a comprehensive care plan, view your emotional issues in a new light, empower yourself through strong systems of support, and then redefine the meaning of your life.

I worked with PTSD patients during my professional internship at a rehab. hospital back in 1994.   There I learned this is a specialized area of psychology which requires great dedication from those therapists who wish to help.  Please don’t hesitate to care enough about yourself and your loved ones to buy this book, and then go get the specialized assistance you deserve and need today!

I just viewed a funny, superior and inspirational speaker on the future of America.

Van Jones speaks for those of us who consider ourselves deep patriots, those who stand for Liberty and Justice for ALL, not just the rich, the poor or those in between.  He represents a movement where we all find the courage inside to protect our government from global corporate control.   A country where the presidency cannot be bought.

Van is a representative of the “Rebuild the Dream Movement.”

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then do that.   Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”       – Dr. Howard Thurman

The popular term “reinvention” suggests some mastery over transition, but does not come close to describing the types of changes some of us are going through these days.   I chose the term “midlife crisis” because mine was so much a personal crisis of confidence, when I lost my job and then my career at age 49.  The trick is taking your own crisis in hand, and demanding that it turn into the BEST opportunity of your entire life.

Is this a crisis or an opportunity?

If you should suddenly become aware that what once worked for you, no longer does, I have one piece of advice for you: 

Listen carefully to that still, small voice from within.

Listen like you never have before.  Even if it says things that seem irrational or even crazy.  This is your inner wisdom telling you what makes you come alive.  Don’t try to ignore it or drown it out, because it will just keep hounding you until you pay heed.  Sooner is better than later, especially since you have probably been ignoring this voice your entire life.

Most of us got some heavy messages when we were young to only do well-thought out, practical things, especially when it came to our education or career choices.  Many of us also followed our parents’ practical advice in our personal life, like the kind of person we should marry and where we should live, etc.  Now is the time to finally do what YOU want.

I found that sometimes my still, small voice made little sense in the moment, but when I followed through with the actions suggested, those actions would lead to other opportunities I could not have foreseen.  For example, everyone including myself thought I had lost it when I started my own dating service after losing my career as an academic librarian, but I felt strongly that I wanted to do this.  Then, when I found I had more cool women than men in my service, I joined Match.com to attract more men.  The very first man I met this way turned out to be my new husband!

How could I have ever seen that coming?  And that led to feeling the kind of deep emotional support I needed to launch myself into an entirely new career at 50.  One thing leads to another in mysterious ways sometimes!

from Ann Harrison of Contemporary Retirement over in England!

After I posted Ex-Wives Against Newt this week, it was suggested that I should not express my political opinions here, that instead I should only write posts “filled with forgiveness, understanding, compassion and empathy for all concerned.”

When I thought more about this opinion, it occurred to me that this may be a very common dilemma for many women.   Am I allowed, or should I allow myself to show the upset and angry side of myself to you?   Or should I always appear the understanding, compassionate type?   Because believe me, we ALL have a dark side, and the more we deny it, the darker it becomes.

So instead I have decided to take the advice of two of my most intelligent and respected advisors and, yes, you guessed it, start a new blog!

If you enjoy my cynical, sometimes sarcastic rants and my unique sense of humor when it comes to hot flashes, husbands, and respect for the female part of the human race, than do not miss: The Midlife Queen Blows Off Steam: Don’t Hold Back. Tell us how you REALLY feel!

An article entitled: “Sundance Reveals a Nation in Midlife Crisis” in the Sydney Morning Herald today stated:

“If the Sundance Film Festival is a mirror of America, this year’s installment depicts an unusually stark image of a broken place filled with broken people.”

Yeah baby!   And I’m the Queen!

Perhaps it’s just my unique perspective, but I see it all around me.   My forthcoming book on baby boomers will reveal the psychological legacy we all share as a generation, and how we got here…

I’m inching ever closer to my target weight now.  Forty-five ugly pounds gone for good, and ten more to go!   This morning when I glanced at myself in my full-length mirror, I immediately said out loud, “Oh, so that’s what I’m supposed to look like!”

Isn’t it funny how easily we get used to seeing a fat person when we look in the mirror?  The weight can come on so gradually over the decades, and then suddenly by age 45 or 50 we can hardly imagine ourselves any other way.   Getting back to only overweight on the BMI instead of obese may seem absolutely out of reach.

I have learned so much with the instruction I have received through Slimgenics:

Weight loss is a journey which begins by believing that you MUST change your life NOW, and then admitting you need some serious instruction and support.   Especially in your first few months when you are struggling to believe it is even possible for you to get back to a healthy weight, one-on-one support is so essential.   Otherwise, who are you going to cry to when you feel so many mixed emotions about the changes you are going through?

Weight loss is all about getting rid of the rules you learned as a child and the norms you see around you EVERYWHERE. You need to first trash as much as you can of your previous assumptions about what you should be eating, what you need to feel satisfied, and what your new normal will be.  I’ll bet I now consume about one third of the total calories I used to consider “normal.”

Starving yourself is your shortest path to obesity! When you wait until you are super hungry before eating, you will find it almost impossible to fill yourself up.   Just like waiting to take a pain reliever until you cannot stand the pain, it will take that much longer to stave off your hunger.   I now eat 4-5 what I call large snacks each day and I NEVER allow myself to feel true hunger.

A fair amount of “hunger” is in your mind, not your belly. Sitting around thinking about what would taste good right now is not the same as HUNGER.   Weight loss may require you to find lots of new interests and ways of distracting yourself from focusing on food full-time.

Believe me, it is possible for you to find a much healthier way to live. However, it may require counseling to help you change the way you see everything in your life.   It may even lead to a midlife crisis!

So, what’s the matter with that?   It beats the heck out of dying prematurely of a heart attack, cancer, diabetes or any number of other obesity-related illnesses.

Besides, this just feels so great!

We all have trouble with bills sometimes, so Siobhan Meyer decided to help others with this sticky issue.   He created ICan’tPayMyBill.com when  his mother fell behind on her electric bills and couldn’t find any help online.   Here is some great instruction in the process, plus connections to many of the major companies you need to contact.

I love to see this kind of initiative and helping spirit online!

I am reading a marvelous book right now:  30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice From The Wisest Americans.  The first chapter, called “GREAT TOGETHER,” is advice from our elders about choosing the best life partner for yourself.

Lesson one is choose a partner with similar core values. Lesson two is the importance of genuine friendship between life partners.   This lesson is simple.   Look for a partner you would choose as a friend, a BEST friend!

As one elder put it: “Think back to the playground when you were a kid.  Your spouse should be that kid you wanted most to play with.“

They suggest you consider what you would like in a lifelong friend and look for that in a potential spouse.   Ask yourself, if we weren’t in love, would we still be friends?   When the excitement and passion we all experience when we first fall in love wears off, what will there be to keep us together?

Romantic love is short lived and generally insufficient to maintain a long successful marriage.   The love you think you feel when you first meet is often a mirage, for deep love develops slowly with each shared joy and challenge.

After the intense physical attraction wears off, will you share similar activities and interests?  Will there be the continual laughter that comes from sharing a similar sense of humor about how silly life can be at times?   What will you be sharing for a lifetime with this person you care so much about now?

I really cannot miss this opportunity to comment on the fiasco going on among the Republican candidates for president and the Republican leadership.

Mitt Romney Romney started out his career in the management consulting business, which led to a position at Bain & Company, where he eventually served as CEO and brought the company out of crisis.   He was co-founder and head of the spin-off company Bain Capital, a private equity investment firm that became highly profitable and one of the largest such firms in the nation.

In other words Mitt is a good capitalist.  He makes 23 million a year and only pays 15% on his taxes!

Now Newt and other candidates have begun criticizing him for being, I guess, too good of a capitalist.   Mitt did what capitalist do best, take advantage of whomever they must to make more money.  And the rest of the Republican leadership is telling them to cool it because word may get out how good Republican capitalists take advantage of the rest of us to promote their own profit margin.

Capitalism is the slippery slope which has led to most of our economic problems in the U.S. today.   At first in U.S. history, it was the simple problem of moving industries around the state or country to find the lowest labor costs and the easiest regulations to get around so that production would be competitive, in other words, as inexpensive as possible.   Today businesses look worldwide for the cheapest labor markets with little worker protection, and generally this is not found in our country.   It’s in China, Malaysia, and India.  Globalization and capitalism has quickly led to the “outsourcing” of millions of previously American jobs.

So is capitalism only good when it takes advantage of American workers?   Capitalists are smart.  They know how to find the cheapest labor markets.   And the minute production is cheaper elsewhere, they move their factories to some other country.   Most of us know this if we have worked in manufacturing.   Many have lost jobs for this exact reason.

The word is out.  Mitt was raised in the management class.   He was also raised Mormon, a religion that promotes good old American capitalism.   I wonder why drawing attention to these facts is making the Republican leadership uncomfortable.