The search for new meaning in midlife

by midlifecrisisqueen on January 8, 2014

Paper Whites 2014“We all want life to have some kind of meaning.  Seems like the older we get, the harder we look for it…”

This is a quote from “Dexter,” waxing philosophical in this Showtime series about a serial killer of serial killers.  Talk about a strange version of midlife crisis!

Still, I believe midlife is the most natural time to begin a new quest in search of meaning and purpose, as we begin the second half of life.

What could be more natural and personal than finding your own sense of purpose as the duties of parenthood and career begin to fall away, and we face the rest of our lives here on planet earth?

“I would like to suggest that you are now experiencing a normal, natural rite of passage into older adulthood.  This is your time to stop and consider all that you think you know about life and yourself, and reconsider how you will be spending the rest of it.

According to one of the top Jungian therapists, James Hollis, this was bound to happen sooner or later.

Try to see this as an important opportunity to change yourself and your life.  Life is offering you these unique circumstances to assist you in evolving and growing into full adulthood while you still have the time to enjoy it.

Fortunately, the intelligence, strength of character and resilience you developed in the first half of your life is now available to be called upon as you give birth to the unique, whole, authentic person you may have denied or resisted for decades.  But a fair amount of courage will be required to explore and develop your new and improved sense of self.

Perhaps you didn’t even know he/she was there, but your authentic self is now letting you know that it is tired of playing second string.  Celebrate the fact that your authenticity is now ready to emerge in its full power and glory.  It is now time to stop playing the many roles you have been taught to play, maintaining a façade of being all things to others.  The illusion that serving the needs of others is your only purpose is finished.

Do you have the courage to admit your own most personal needs now, and get them met?  Is it time to admit that being there for others will not be enough to make you whole?  Are you willing to give up the guise of savior or martyr to the needs of others?  This is as far as inauthenticity can take you in your life.  Your capacity for self-deception is exhausted, and you may feel nothing but exhaustion from playing so many different roles for most of your time here on earth.

Butterfly side view small 2007Life-changing events have caused an emotional earthquake in your life, but this is all normal for the psychological stage you are in now.  There is no going back, only forward to acknowledge and embrace the new you, the more powerful, authentic you, the one who has been waiting in the shadows your whole life.”

Excerpted from my book: Find Your Reason To Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife, available in both paper and Kindle format.

How does it feel to finally BECOME your authentic self in midlife?

Like you have boundless potential and anything can happen!


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