How I see the stages of life at age 58

by midlifecrisisqueen on December 6, 2013

I was surprised to find recently that a high percent of those reading this blog are much younger than I.  In fact, most are under 40.  This really struck me.  I had no idea.

Then I thought, what do these readers need most from me?  Perhaps you would enjoy my perspective looking back over the decades of my life…

So I sat down and named the feelings behind the decades of my own life.  Here you go:

Thailand_1973 Photo for blogMy 20s: Pure Potential!

My 30s: Life as struggle 

My 40s: Does this ever get better? 

My 50s: Now this is living! 

I can only now see that my own decades of struggle were absolutely necessary to provide me with a rich, creative, and authentic re-birth in midlife.

It now all seems like a jumble of struggles through college, graduate school, moving often from place to place, trying out many different types of work, friendships, lovers.

Throughout those years of learning about myself, what I needed most was a sense of reassurance that I would one day feel really good about my life.

The early decades are how we find out who we are, and where we fit into the scheme of things.  We discover how our interests and natural abilities can be directed into some sort of paying job or career, and how to relate positively with others.  These can be quite challenging times, requiring much personal strength and courage.

I kept a journal throughout these decades, and I’m so glad I did now!  Sometimes I forget the various periods of confusion and hopelessness I faced in my past.  Then I turn to these journals to confirm my deep sense of uncertainty and sometimes despair.

Who can provide much needed guidance as we struggle to make good choices throughout our lives?  Who can we trust to have our best interests at heart?

We slowly find out who can be trusted, who has our best interests at heart, and who holds the kind of wisdom we seek.

???????????????????????????????I have found much wisdom in counseling and books, books by those who have been down this road before me.  Books by those who have given careful thought to how life works. Those who have studied the different stages of life inside and out.

Someone like me, now!

“Only those who risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go…”      –  T.S. Eliot

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Carol Cassara December 6, 2013 at 12:04 pm

Thanks for spurring a few moments of introspection about my ow life. I feel really lucky—I never saw any part of my life as a struggle. Sure, there were challenges, bad relationships, crazy bosses. Yes, I went to therapy to help learn new skills. But generally, I always realized that my life was pretty good and I felt good about it, certainly compared to people living in poverty or with serious ailments and I have kept that attitude throughout each decade. As I result, and I do think it’s a result, I have lived a full and rich life.

Julie Phelps December 6, 2013 at 1:58 pm

Interesting how younger people are paying attention or preparing for what is ahead? Not sure, but I’ve noticed a few younger people also following my own blog.
Some of the earlier years zoomed by in a fog, it seems. But once I reached 53, I began actively paying attention to each day, and began living in the present. Now, at 67, it feels like I have really come into my own. I rather hope others can begin living in the present, and making each day count, much earlier than I did.
I applaud those following along with you. And I applaud YOU for giving them what they seek (and will need). High fives!

midlifecrisisqueen December 6, 2013 at 2:45 pm

Yes, my husband and I feel so lucky to have survived those years of heavy ‘fog’…. only to find ourselves happier than ever as we move towards sixty. So glad we made it this far, and it turned out so well! LLC

Pat December 7, 2013 at 8:22 am

Interesting to find out younger people are following your blog. That gives all of us hope. My 50s still feel fairly confusing…I am still waiting to get to the now this is living stage…maybe in my 60s.

midlifecrisisqueen December 7, 2013 at 8:37 am

You decide what that is for you Pat, and then make it the BEST EVER!!! – LLC

grownandflown December 7, 2013 at 9:32 am

I love the way you describe the decades. I agree with you about the 50s, btw!

midlifecrisisqueen December 7, 2013 at 9:56 am

May we all find aging rewarding! The best is yet to come…
With Age Comes Happiness, at least that’s what the studies show: http://news.uchicago.edu/article/2008/04/16/age-comes-happiness-university-chicago-study-shows

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