Reinvention — Lessons Learned

by midlifecrisisqueen on September 22, 2013

When you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for…

I am now pushing 60.  Looking back, I have found midlife to be the ideal time for self-discovery and personal reinvention.

Most of us have followed the path set out for us by others.  What else can we do when we are young and inexperienced?  And by age 40 or 50, we know where that leads.

By my mid-40s, I felt professionally secure, but stuck and frustrated, having been a good girl and followed all the rules.  These feelings allowed me to finally find the confidence and courage to re-structure my life and create something new and different.  My goal: complete authenticity!

Perhaps, like me, you have experienced some traumatic midlife challenges like divorce, job loss, empty nest, natural disasters (like in Colorado now!) or illness, as you watch  your parents struggle with their own aging issues.  All of these circumstances combined to cause me to question many of the choices I had made so far.

Did I want to spend the rest of my life this way?

In retrospect I see my various crises as golden opportunities to push me towards more appropriate personal choices.  In the midst of my own midlife crisis, I spent months reading, looking inside, journaling, and being painfully honest with my feelings.  Gradually I realized the future I saw ahead did not suit me.  It was time to re-frame and do everything in a different way, MY WAY!

I used my own inner wisdom/intuition as my primary guide.  Aware of the limitations of whatever time I had left on this earth, I worked ceaselessly to find a better path for myself.

Stop censoring yourself.  Stop telling yourself you can never have what you truly want.  Find out what that is for you, and then focus like a laser on your deepest desires.

There are indeed do-overs before it is all over!

In the midst of my only run in with unemployment at age 49, I decided that I was determined to have a marvelous, unconditional love relationship with another before I died.  Then I did EVERYTHING within my power to make that happen, and it did!

Life is too short to waitMany have called me ‘lucky.’  I call me courageous, determined and stubborn.  I began reinventing my life by first finding genuine love.

Next my new lover, who believed in me even more than I did, helped me change careers.  I had always dreamed of becoming a writer, but ignored that desire because it seemed too crazy and impractical.  This time I was determined to get exactly what I wanted.  And I am here to tell you, you can too!

“The person who says it cannot be done, should not interrupt the person doing it.”   -  Chinese proverb

DSCF0138Too many of us float through life, ignoring our dreams, and accepting whatever comes our way.          Too often we believe that is all we deserve.

Take it from me, midlife is the best time to take back your power, decide exactly what YOU want, and then don’t let ANYTHING stand in your way!

Be careful though!  One success leads to another, until one day you may find yourself exploring the Andes of Ecuador!  Or building your dream home in southern Colorado.

To learn more about how Laura Lee found love again, check out her book and blog: How To Believe In Love Again.   For further instruction in how to transform your life, check out her new book Find Your Reason to Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife.  Her first book: Midlife Magic: Becoming the Person YOU are Inside, is a collection of essays on why we change, and how midlife change comes about. 

All of her books are available in e-book and paper format.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Karen D. Austin September 23, 2013 at 8:03 am

Hooray for your making so many effective midlife transformations. I don’t know if you are personally affected by the floods (knowing you live in CO), but I am hoping that things get better soon there. Hugs to all my neighbors (I’m just east in KS).

midlifecrisisqueen September 23, 2013 at 8:08 am

We missed the flooding in south Fort Collins. The mtn. communities above us are DEVASTATED though! Major highways in the mountains are GONE! And we just got more rain! You may be receiving some of this extra moisture soon, so WATCH OUT!

Joy Weese Moll (@joyweesemoll) September 23, 2013 at 8:14 am

Inspiring story — thanks!

Haralee September 23, 2013 at 9:24 am

Great points! Life really can be too short and it also can be long but handicapped with poor health, waiting for what???

Sharon Greenthal September 23, 2013 at 9:38 am

Reinvention is scary and overwhelming for some, but you have done it successfully! Great post.

Connie McLeod September 23, 2013 at 10:36 am

I wanted to stand and cheer “YEA YOU!” when I finished reading. Reinvention is making changes one step at a time. You’re an inspiration.

Shannon Bradley-Colleary September 23, 2013 at 12:17 pm

Lovely piece. As my dear friend Jenna always says, “The f*%king universe doesn’t leave you alone for a second.”

Chloe Jeffreys September 23, 2013 at 4:09 pm

“Take it from me, midlife is the best time to take back your power, decide exactly what YOU want, and then don’t let ANYTHING stand in your way!”

So true! Midlife is a great time for reinvention. The wisdom we’ve gained through our lives, coupled with the courage to let go of artificial limitations, makes this time one of the most wonderful of all.

Pat September 24, 2013 at 6:26 am

“Take back your power”… I love that line. Yes, we owe it to our souls to be our most authentic selves. Looks like you have done just that, and now you encourage others to do the same! GREAT!

Ruth Curran September 24, 2013 at 10:17 am

Thank you Laura Lee for the motivational boost and the inspiration! You won’t see me standing in your way anytime soon — keeping on “doing”!

midlifecrisisqueen September 24, 2013 at 11:13 am

Thank you all for reading and relating! We are all reinvention warriors on the path to wholeness…. LLC

Elin Stebbins Waldal September 24, 2013 at 3:05 pm

Taking back your power–so healthy. I really enjoyed reading your story and love the way you call others to join you. Nice!

b+ September 24, 2013 at 3:48 pm

Thank you for sharing a real “success” story…there are far too few of those going around.

sheryl October 3, 2013 at 10:19 am

Very inspiring message! I believe we are (or should be) always reinventing ourselves by learning and growing.

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