When you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for…
I am now pushing 60. Looking back, I have found midlife to be the ideal time for self-discovery and personal reinvention.
Most of us have followed the path set out for us by others. What else can we do when we are young and inexperienced? And by age 40 or 50, we know where that leads.
By my mid-40s, I felt professionally secure, but stuck and frustrated, having been a good girl and followed all the rules. These feelings allowed me to finally find the confidence and courage to re-structure my life and create something new and different. My goal: complete authenticity!
Perhaps, like me, you have experienced some traumatic midlife challenges like divorce, job loss, empty nest, natural disasters (like in Colorado now!) or illness, as you watch your parents struggle with their own aging issues. All of these circumstances combined to cause me to question many of the choices I had made so far.
In retrospect I see my various crises as golden opportunities to push me towards more appropriate personal choices. In the midst of my own midlife crisis, I spent months reading, looking inside, journaling, and being painfully honest with my feelings. Gradually I realized the future I saw ahead did not suit me. It was time to re-frame and do everything in a different way, MY WAY!
I used my own inner wisdom/intuition as my primary guide. Aware of the limitations of whatever time I had left on this earth, I worked ceaselessly to find a better path for myself.
Stop censoring yourself. Stop telling yourself you can never have what you truly want. Find out what that is for you, and then focus like a laser on your deepest desires.
There are indeed do-overs before it is all over!
In the midst of my only run in with unemployment at age 49, I decided that I was determined to have a marvelous, unconditional love relationship with another before I died. Then I did EVERYTHING within my power to make that happen, and it did!
Many have called me ‘lucky.’ I call me courageous, determined and stubborn. I began reinventing my life by first finding genuine love.
Next my new lover, who believed in me even more than I did, helped me change careers. I had always dreamed of becoming a writer, but ignored that desire because it seemed too crazy and impractical. This time I was determined to get exactly what I wanted. And I am here to tell you, you can too!
“The person who says it cannot be done, should not interrupt the person doing it.” – Chinese proverb
Too many of us float through life, ignoring our dreams, and accepting whatever comes our way. Too often we believe that is all we deserve.
Take it from me, midlife is the best time to take back your power, decide exactly what YOU want, and then don’t let ANYTHING stand in your way!