Don’t make the same mistakes as I did in midlife!

by midlifecrisisqueen on May 17, 2013

OK, so here’s the scoop.  We all want to think we are too smart to make the same mistakes as others when it comes to midlife.  That’s your first mistake.  Feeling uncertain about what’s next in your 40s is healthy and natural, not a sign of stupidity.

The first half of your life is spent doing what everyone else told you was important, things like get a sensible career, marry well and have a few kids.

If these should happen to turn out badly, or even if, from the outside things look great, but you are miserable inside, welcome to midlife mayhem.  The time for change is at hand, and that’s a good thing!

The assumptions I made when my life felt WRONG in my late 40s were:

I made a mistake and/or I am a mistake, everyone else is happy but me, and this is unfixable and hopeless.  In other words I felt oh so alone in my misery.  I was recently divorced, unemployed, and generally feeling fat, tired, and ugly.  Trust me, I felt like the ultimate loser and not in a good way!

I spent a lot of time alone trying to figure this one out.  I started asking others and reading books about how others had dealt with these feelings.  I started writing this blog and then a few books about what I had learned through my own experience of “midlife crisis.”

Number one rule: Don’t assume you are the first person who has ever felt this way.  My research eventually showed me exactly how normal and healthy midlife questioning is from time immemorial.  The difference is we can DO something about it now!

Midlife change is an innovation in emotional development available for the first time in human history simply because we are finally living long enough to have the time to change in our 40s and 50s.  This new rite of passage has been studied by the premier lifespan psychologists, and is now seen as a sign of mental health, not stupidity.

I am now so glad to have learned so much through my own changes and then through years of research about midlife.  I would love to share that knowledge with you! 

Through my own efforts, my 50s turned out to be the BEST decade ever!  And I am now looking forward to an even brighter future.  Self-honesty and authenticity feel GREAT!

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

sheryl May 17, 2013 at 10:03 am

Wonderful to feel this way, isn’t it? Congratulations on achieving the secret.

midlifecrisisqueen May 17, 2013 at 10:28 am

Yes! The only problem is I don’t want it to be a secret! I don’t want others to suffer as I did…

Lyse Lauren May 20, 2013 at 2:26 am

I think we would not approach our mid and later lives with the right sort of attitude if we did not have to go through a sort of ‘rite of passage’ at some point. For so many years we are caught up in our work, our children our dreams. We have our health and our youth and life is too hectic to stop very often and question the why and wherefore. Then we hit mid life and things change…both physically and mentally but also emotionally. That period of re-appraisal can be so liberating once we let it be and allow ourselves to go into it whole heartedly.

midlifecrisisqueen May 29, 2013 at 8:36 am

Thanks for reading Lyse… I like the term “re-imagine” as we re-think everything we assumed was true in our past, and then feel free to change everything!

Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: