Persistence and dedication sometimes pay off!

by midlifecrisisqueen on May 8, 2013

As many of you know, my purpose in life has become educating everyone about what is to be expected in midlife.  I see myself as one who knows how to turn midlife challenges into once-in-a-lifetime positive opportunities.

Why do I feel called to this work?  I lost my marriage, my job and almost my home within just a couple of years in my late 40s.  Then I sat for months, living on severance and unemployment, challenging all of my previous beliefs about why I was here.  I felt depressed, despondent and hopeless, and found very little meaning in what I had accomplished thus far.  I still remember the day I made a solemn commitment to begin living my life in a different way.

When my own changes began, I had no idea that this wasn’t just happening to me.  I went through it all feeling alone, isolated, and marginalized.  In other words, I felt like such a loser!  Now I see that most of us do struggle with our own “middle passage,” and this crisis is in fact a wonderful sign of emotional and intellectual maturity and aliveness.  We are finally ready to embrace our authentic self, and move on to ever higher levels of consciousness.

For me, my first step was to prioritize what I wanted most in my life.  I decided that I first wanted to find some way to believe in love again.    I started my own dating service and met face-to-face with hundreds of other disillusioned midlife singles.  We discussed ways we might begin again to believe that love was a good thing, after various versions of destructive divorces.

Through synchronicity and by following my intuition and inner wisdom, I met my true love and soul mate at age 49.  Such a relief to finally find someone whose love and loyalty was absolute.  He believed in me enough to provide me with the financial and emotional support I needed to change careers.  I went from academic librarian to writer, author, and midlife psychology specialist.

As luck would have it, new developments on the Internet provided the perfect platform for this personal transformation.  I started out in 2007 with this blog, and within a year I had produced my first book: Midlife Magic: Becoming the Person YOU Are Inside! 

Finally the mainstream media is starting to catch up with me!  I have seen two important pieces in the past week which document the problems we boomers face in midlife.  The PBS News Hour did an excellent job with the “Brutal Job Search Reality for Older Americans Out of Work for Six Months or More” last Friday.  And the New York Times finally came out with an article about the soaring suicide rate among Americans age 35 – 64.

I feel like my life began with my own midlife transformation, and by making that discovery, I found my own reason to be here.  I want everyone to know just how normal, natural and liberating midlife can be.  I read the works of other prominent psychologists like Carl Jung and James Hollis, and learned how important our “middle passage” is to the completion of our intellectual and emotional lives.  I studied my generation, the boomers, and saw how we are the first human generation to enjoy a long enough lifespan to truly experience this new midlife rite of passage.

Now I have found a kindred spirit who happens to live on the other side of the globe!  I just began working with a researcher/producer for ABC News in Australia.  She is developing a documentary about the importance of midlife transformation in women.  I love talking with her about what I have learned in the past eight years.

There are so many exciting and inspirational stories we need to share.  I see this as the new frontier, a revolution in human emotional development!

To learn more about mastering difficult life transitions you might enjoy my books: Midlife Magic: Becoming The Person You Are Inside! and my new one: Find Your Reason to be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife. 

To find a new faith in love try: How to Believe In Love Again.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Tom Sightings May 8, 2013 at 5:17 pm

You’re an inspiration to us all … although while I had a similar experience, I had the opposite reaction. I lost my job, my marriage, my house, my father (who died at age 91) and my daughter (who went off to college) all within a few months — and for the most part I felt GREAT (altho’ I did miss my dad and my daughter), because for once I was unencumbered, free of responsibility, and finally able to lead my own life. Eventually I got a new partner, a new house — and while I didn’t get a new job I did find another way to make a living and finance my less stressful and more meaningful lifestyle.

midlifecrisisqueen May 9, 2013 at 7:30 am

Hi Tom:
Glad to be some sort of inspiration for you!

I didn’t know you lost so much in such a short period yourself. Good to know you found a way to finally “lead your own life.” That’s what midlife change is ALL ABOUT!
Less stress, more meaning…. — Laura

sheryl May 9, 2013 at 7:54 am

What an exciting and inspiring story – congratulations on all fronts!

midlifecrisisqueen May 9, 2013 at 9:00 am

Thanks Sheryl!
I love waking up every morning, knowing that I’m doing what I love! — Laura

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