My friend Brett Newmyer is at it again. Here’s the latest from his recent family reunion:
“Huh?” by Brett Newmyer
I saw a funny birthday card recently that shows three elderly gentlemen walking on the beach. The first one says, “It’s windy.” The second one replies, “No, it’s Thursday,” to which the third responds, “Me too, let’s go get a beer.” Trying to have any kind of conversation with my elderly parents feels exactly like that sometimes.
No, my folks aren’t completely deaf yet, but they can see it from here. Adding to the confusion, my equally hard-of-hearing aunt is visiting this week for a family reunion. These otherwise vibrant elders range in age from 76 to 89. My Aunt Barb is the most senior of all.
As you might imagine, all three desperately need hearing aids. But since they are hardy, self-reliant Depression-era babies, not one of them is willing to admit it. This can make for some interesting conversations around my house!
For example, yesterday Mom said she needed some seafood seasoning for a recipe, but was sure she didn’t have any. I suggested she just get a tin of Old Bay seasoning. To which she responded, “A ton of Oh Boy? What’s that?” I said, “No Mom, Old Bay.” “Obey? What are you talking about?”
This morning, Mom was standing at the stove barely three feet away from my Dad, when she said, “Did you turn the ham yet”? Dad, leaning forward, responded with, “Turn the pan?” Mom looks right at him this time and repeats even louder, “Turn the ham!” Annoyed, she flips the slices in the skillet, and then turns to her sister and says, “I’m telling you Barb, it’s a real challenge living with someone who is hard of hearing.” To which Barb responds: “What did you say, hon?”
I’ve decided not to fight it. And, in a way, it’s almost amusing watching this titanic battle of wills. Oh well, at least I know we have a ton of “Oh Boy” in the cupboard now.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
This is such a good post, and so true. My mom finally got hearing aids but won’t wear them because they hurt her ears. When I get home from visiting her, my husband has to keep reminding to talk softer, because his new hearing aids work just fine.
Thanks for reading, Pat. I’m trying to encourage Brett and his writing. He’s pretty entertaining, isn’t he? -Laura Lee
Hi, Laura. I’m very glad I just met you on Patricia Stoltey’s blog.
I enjoyed reading the interview, and I also love this story from your “court jester.” I can relate to the aging parents thing. I can also relate to being a caregiver since for 24 years I’ve been 24/7 caregiver of a disabled daughter. My mother was 97 when she passed away. The people who ran the small place where she spent her last months called it “the funny farm.” I wish I’d written down the stories they told me. This is definitely memoir stuff. And we need humor more than anything else in situations like this since care giving and/or dealing with “deaf” parents is very stressful!
Ann