I have just experienced the difficult process of witnessing my husband Mike go through major surgery and recovery in the past week or so. He had all sorts of hardware placed in the base of his spine. You can imagine how painful it is to wake up after THAT operation! He also had carpal tunnel surgery at the same time.
It did not help that the surgeon was a complete ass afterward. Imagine this, Mike is lying in the hospital less than 24 hours after his surgery, in tears from severe pain, when the doc pops in to shame him properly for not getting up and giving himself a shower. The guy really knows how to win friends and influence people!
Thanks goodness we were able to leave that hospital one day later, just to escape the harassment! Now Mike is up and walking a couple times a day. Mike is NOT a lazy slob! Just treated that way by his surgeon. We now both enjoy the image of that shame-filled man experiencing all the pain that he has ever caused in his lifetime, all at once in an extreme but special case of instant karma!
Do any of you know the experience of watching someone you love suffer so much? Than you know how stressful it can be. It sometimes seems that aging is truly the experience of watching yourself fall apart bit by bit.
For me, Mike’s stay in the neuro unit at the hospital and his extreme pain brought up my own experience with a traumatic brain injury with fractured ribs over two years ago. I guess it was a bit of a PTSD experience. Unless you have ever experienced unrelenting pain which cannot be alleviated by drugs, and the inability to change position without creating ever more confusion and pain, you probably cannot relate.
However, most can relate to the simple difficulties of aging. I woke up so frustrated last night at the fact that my brain no longer works like it used to. Why can’t I remember simple things until they pop into my mind in the middle of the night? I hate this feeling of disability! I am afraid to even think about what’s next.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I have an opposite experience. I watched the love of my life as she suffered through taking care of me both when I lost the vision in my left (good) eye and then again last year when I had major cancer surgery. I do my best to stay healthy, a big part of which is so she doesn’t have to go through that again.
Mike:
It is only later in life when we learn what true love is! Thanks for sharing, LLC
I think most surgeons are jerks but I am a disabled marine from the Vietnam war and I have a surgeon at the VA here in Phoenix that is amazing. He didn’t become a US citizen until just a few years ago and in his former life he was a Russian KGB agent, that’s right, a spy! But he is the nicest, most patient man, has operated on me twice, works at the VA when he could be in private practice making zillions. I love the guy!
Dick:
Thanks for reading and commenting! As it turns out, Mike is almost all better now and the surgery helped at lot! He’s now walking 5-10 miles a day, and he could hardly stumble to the mailbox before.
LLC