Somewhere between Ben Stein’s inspirational advice from his psychiatrist to “Decide to Live!” (see video) and the Wall Street Journal’s new article: “Middle Age Crazy? It’ll Cost to Do Your Thing,” lies the truth about choosing to live your dreams versus keeping your nose to the grindstone in midlife.
Yes, there are many sad and stark realities involved in changing your life or career at midlife. I am familiar with them all. But I have found that there are many sadder and even more stark realities involved in continuing to do what you hate for the rest of your life, simply because you made a commitment twenty or thirty years ago.
Granted, my decision was made easier by the complete lack of jobs in my career field when I lost my job back in 2004. I now thank my lucky stars for that coincidence! If I hadn’t recently gotten divorced and then lost my job, I wouldn’t have felt so free to try something completely new and different.
As I’ve mentioned before, there is a certain freedom in the feeling that you have very little left to lose. And I learned there is even more freedom to be found in failure. It gives one great incentive to learn how to fail faster so you can go on to a better match for your talents and skills.
As it says in the WSJ article, the American Psychological Association’s annual stress test found that nearly one third of Americans age 45 to 60 feel they are “extremely stressed.” Losing your job or career in midlife is not for the faint of heart. Finding the perfect match for your unique set of skills and personality is also stressful, but SO WORTH IT!
If, in the midst of your greatest fears and depression, you can see this as the most profound challenge of your entire life. If you can see that do-overs are indeed possible before it’s all over, than this is your chance to get it right. You have half the battle won.
Choose life! Choose to follow that passion you have always denied or hadn’t even completely recognized yet. One thing leads to another in this game of “get what you want before it’s all over.” I started out thinking I would enjoy running a dating service for those over 40. That was fun, but it wasn’t me. Then I began a writing career which lead to a chance meeting with the man of my dreams, starting this blog, plus a good income in freelance editing, as well as my work as a life change coach, my favorite job of all!
I had no idea back when I lost my job that I might end up here today. I just needed to learn how to trust that I would slowly figure out where I fit into the crazy scheme of life. Thank goodness I took a chance on myself and life. Taking that chance and being fully open to change led to my best life ever! Do-over complete.
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i’m 44 this year…i am changing jobs and starting a blog this summer. i feel all shiny and new. i can’t say i’m never discouraged but i do have an eternal underlying optimism that gets me through…here’s to middle age!
You are the best cheerleader ever! Fear is not a good enough reason to stay stale-mated, I agree, and am a firm believer in “do-overs.” Keep up your great cheering.
I cannot help myself, obviously! I just keep imagining how miserable I would be now if I hadn’t taken a chance on life, and done something completely different.
Let’s hear it for all of you who have found the courage within to love yourself into your best life ever! We only get one chance at getting it right, and then it’s over!
-Laura Lee aka the Queen!
Laura Lee,
I can’t agree more. My father stayed in a job long past it’s best-before date because he “had to” in order to support his family and because it was what men in his generation did. As a result of his choice to remain stuck, he retired with a variety of health problems related to stress and depression.
When I came to a cross roads in my career, I chose to take the more scary but rewarding road in following my dreams. Every once in a while I see a job ad that makes me think about leaving my business for the “security” of a steady paycheque but then I remember the costs.
To be a cliche: short term pain = long term gain when it comes to following your dreams!
Thanks for your comment Andrea!
Every time I get a great comment like yours, or I help one of my coaching clients feel fantastic about loving themselves and doing what THEY WANT for a change, I know I must be on the right track! Helping others change is amazing work! I feel so honored to be doing it! – Laura Lee
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