Remember back in March of 2008, when I officially crowned Al Gore the Midlife Crisis King? Well, it appears he’s still in mid-change or crisis. Just heard today that he and Tipper are calling it quits, after 40 years of marriage.
I find the mainstream media’s take on this to be quite annoying (as usual!) It goes something like this: “How can we ever believe in marriage when things like this happen?”
I would argue that sometimes divorce can be a very good thing. Divorce can be an indication of positive personal growth and change, or the need to “become the person you are inside,” like the subtitle of my book.
My divorce was exactly what needed to happen for my ex and I back in 2001, and we have both profited immensely from the experience! We have both found much more fulfilling relationships, and moved on to become much happier in our personal lives.
Why should two people keep living together when they have grown apart? Why should they pretend that their relationship is still robust, exciting or at least interesting, when they have very different goals and needs than they did twenty or thirty years ago? What is it about our culture that needs to believe people should stay together forever, even if they’re miserable?
I would be the first to say that divorce is usually traumatic, but it needs to happen in most cases where it does. My divorce was traumatic, mostly because my ex showed little emotion (besides joy!) as we separated, and then I laid a heavy guilt trip on myself that did not benefit me or my ex in anyway. It took a couple of years for me to get over that, even though I never, ever wanted to get back together with my ex.
I suppose if I’m completely honest with myself, the scariest part of divorce for me were the financial worries, fears that I’m certain Tipper Gore is NOT facing today! I did lose 75% of my income in my divorce, and then I lost the rest a few years later when I was laid off.
Still and all, getting a divorce when I did was one of the BEST DECISIONS of my entire life! I know that for certain now! If I hadn’t had the internal strength and courage to leave my last husband, I would have never known how much better my life could be today.
Learn more about Laura Lee’s own recent experiences with divorce, job loss and soul surgery in her book: Midlife Magic: Becoming the person you are inside. Contact her directly to acquire a copy of her companion volume: MIDLIFE CHANGE WORKBOOK. Good Luck! MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com
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Divorce as positive personal growth
by midlifecrisisqueen on June 1, 2010
Remember back in March of 2008, when I officially crowned Al Gore the Midlife Crisis King? Well, it appears he’s still in mid-change or crisis. Just heard today that he and Tipper are calling it quits, after 40 years of marriage.
I find the mainstream media’s take on this to be quite annoying (as usual!) It goes something like this: “How can we ever believe in marriage when things like this happen?”
I would argue that sometimes divorce can be a very good thing. Divorce can be an indication of positive personal growth and change, or the need to “become the person you are inside,” like the subtitle of my book.
My divorce was exactly what needed to happen for my ex and I back in 2001, and we have both profited immensely from the experience! We have both found much more fulfilling relationships, and moved on to become much happier in our personal lives.
Why should two people keep living together when they have grown apart? Why should they pretend that their relationship is still robust, exciting or at least interesting, when they have very different goals and needs than they did twenty or thirty years ago? What is it about our culture that needs to believe people should stay together forever, even if they’re miserable?
I would be the first to say that divorce is usually traumatic, but it needs to happen in most cases where it does. My divorce was traumatic, mostly because my ex showed little emotion (besides joy!) as we separated, and then I laid a heavy guilt trip on myself that did not benefit me or my ex in anyway. It took a couple of years for me to get over that, even though I never, ever wanted to get back together with my ex.
I suppose if I’m completely honest with myself, the scariest part of divorce for me were the financial worries, fears that I’m certain Tipper Gore is NOT facing today! I did lose 75% of my income in my divorce, and then I lost the rest a few years later when I was laid off.
Still and all, getting a divorce when I did was one of the BEST DECISIONS of my entire life! I know that for certain now! If I hadn’t had the internal strength and courage to leave my last husband, I would have never known how much better my life could be today.
Learn more about Laura Lee’s own recent experiences with divorce, job loss and soul surgery in her book: Midlife Magic: Becoming the person you are inside. Contact her directly to acquire a copy of her companion volume: MIDLIFE CHANGE WORKBOOK. Good Luck! MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com
Tagged as: Al and Tipper divorce, become who you are inside!, divorce as a good thing, divorce as growth, divorce as positive personal growth, gore divorce commentary, why you should consider divorce