Up until the time of my own midlife crisis, I had no idea how much I had been settling my whole life. Talk about low expectations!
I found I needed to lose my crappy marriage and my totally uninspiring job, before I could finally give myself permission to start living the life of my dreams.
At the time I divorced in 2001, I felt like a absolute failure. Why couldn’t I do marriage? What was the matter with me? I spent far too much time focused on these silly thoughts.
It was only when I lost my part-time job a couple of years later, that my worries quickly switched to career issues. But I have learned that crisis can be the perfect catharsis to offer up once-in-a-lifetime revelations. I now wish we could all take the time to stop in the middle of our lives for at least a few months, and quietly and privately consider what’s next.
What did I learn from my own midlife crisis? Everything I needed to learn to transform my life!
First of all, I learned the truth in the saying: “He who hesitates is lost!”
If you lose your job and don’t know what to do next, then try ANYTHING rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself! Take a risk. Try a new business. Explore your options by failing upward. Even if your first attempt fails, you’ll still learn lots about yourself and your own needs.
If you have even a tiny inkling of an idea of what you might love, try it now! Time’s a wasting. There ARE do-overs, but only if you have enough imagination and courage. The experience of hitting rock bottom is all about courageous experimentation! What do you have to lose?
I also learned that when things are looking grim, they can only get better. Change is inevitable whether you’re happy or miserable, so hang on, it all changes! What can you do today to move in the direction of positive life change? Take baby steps every day. Move ever so slowly towards everything you’ve never had, but wished for in your wildest dreams. What do you want to happen today? This time ask for EXACTLY what you want!
And remember: When you settle for less than you deserve, you get even LESS than you settled for!
To learn more about what I learned through my own midlife transformation read: Midlife Magic: Becoming the person you are inside, Midife Change Workbook, and How to Believe In Love Again!
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Love your advice. The losing job advice is so true!
Mary
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