“For to resist life’s ubiquitous and inevitable impermanence is to suffer, and to accept change with compassion is to transcend suffering.” -Laura Lee
I realized the other day on a long walk, that one of the most important and yet seldom recognized qualities of aging, is ever increasing feelings of vulnerability. What does that mean?
The dictionary defines vulnerability as feeling susceptible to being wounded or hurt. I would define my own feelings as those of increasing fragility along with an ever expanding awareness of my own mortality.
A writer friend of mine requested that I post her thoughts on this subject here:
VULNERABILITY
Two weeks ago, I took a few minutes to read the Sunday newspaper. There I spotted an article, “Ovarian cancer – the silent killer of women.” To my dismay, I had all the symptoms. I am white and sixty which is the heaviest hit group. After consulting with my aunt, I learned that my paternal grandmother died of ovarian cancer. So, the past two weeks have been spent in the land of sick and the potentially sick, getting tested.
During this time, I learned that my cousin, who is younger than me, was just diagnosed with breast cancer and a friend’s daughter was killed in a car accident. This coupled with the recent death of my son-in-law’s best man a week before the wedding drove home the fact that early death can happen to anyone – even me.
Last night, I dreamt I was in a transparent box holding all living beings before we pass through the permeable wall to the other side. I was bumping the edge – my elbow already poking through. I was struck by how vulnerable we all are.
One hour ago, my test results came back – my ovaries are fine. For now, my elbow has been pulled back into the box and I am moving away from the edge. But this experience has changed me. I vow to sit quietly and listen to the lessons it has brought. I vow that it will make me more compassionate.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Laura Lee,
Very impressive account of one woman’s inner thoughts toward the ever increasing changes that are going on within each of our versitile bodies.
More power to her and to you for publishing it.
Fay Ulanoff
So happy your test came back okay. Life is very scary at times. But it can be a lot of fun!
Mary