If you are indeed serious about transforming your life, the first step is changing the way you think about yourself. This is much harder than you might think, because your brain loves a good routine or pattern, and it is now stuck thinking negative things about you, as discussed previously.
It’s time to start challenging all of your previous assumptions about yourself , who you are, and why you do the things you do.
You must now begin consciously choosing thoughts that are the complete opposite of your usual negative patterns.
Positive thoughts are stronger and more vivid in nature. Like radio signals traveling through space, the waves that have more force behind them counteract those that are weaker in nature. Eventually, the synapses that support negative thoughts dwindle from disuse.
Just by repeatedly thinking something positive about yourself, something you want to think, on a daily basis, you can make your negative thoughts disappear in about 4 weeks. Positive thoughts will then affect your habitual emotions, your self-identifying belief systems, and your interactions with others.
The most well-known positive thoughts are called affirmations. I’m sure you’ve all heard of these, but they really do work! These are the chosen thoughts that replace the negative self-talk from childhood. My favorite is to stand in front of a mirror, look myself directly in the eyes, and say:
“I love you and respect you exactly the way you are!”
Another way to challenge previous negative brain patterns is to begin questioning deeply your feelings about specific situations.
When you are involved in a difficult situation or feeling bad about a belief about yourself, first write it down. Then separate yourself from the emotions of the situation and start diving deeper into the root of your unhappiness. Play the “why” game with yourself. “This make me feel bad.” But why? “Because I feel guilty (stupid, selfish.)” But why?
In only a few cycles of “whys” you will begin to understand your feelings in much more depth, feel some compassion for yourself, and perhaps give yourself a break instead of feeling bad for the rest of the day about something you said or some other situation.
Your goal is self understanding and compassion. Learn how to treat yourself at least as well as you treat others in your life!
To learn more about what I learned through my own transitions, please read my books: Midlife Magic: Becoming the person you are inside! and my Midife Change Workbook.
How to transform negative thought patterns
If you are indeed serious about transforming your life, the first step is changing the way you think about yourself. This is much harder than you might think, because your brain loves a good routine or pattern, and it is now stuck thinking negative things about you, as discussed previously.
It’s time to start challenging all of your previous assumptions about yourself , who you are, and why you do the things you do.
You must now begin consciously choosing thoughts that are the complete opposite of your usual negative patterns.
Positive thoughts are stronger and more vivid in nature. Like radio signals traveling through space, the waves that have more force behind them counteract those that are weaker in nature. Eventually, the synapses that support negative thoughts dwindle from disuse.
Just by repeatedly thinking something positive about yourself, something you want to think, on a daily basis, you can make your negative thoughts disappear in about 4 weeks. Positive thoughts will then affect your habitual emotions, your self-identifying belief systems, and your interactions with others.
The most well-known positive thoughts are called affirmations. I’m sure you’ve all heard of these, but they really do work! These are the chosen thoughts that replace the negative self-talk from childhood. My favorite is to stand in front of a mirror, look myself directly in the eyes, and say:
“I love you and respect you exactly the way you are!”
Another way to challenge previous negative brain patterns is to begin questioning deeply your feelings about specific situations.
When you are involved in a difficult situation or feeling bad about a belief about yourself, first write it down. Then separate yourself from the emotions of the situation and start diving deeper into the root of your unhappiness. Play the “why” game with yourself. “This make me feel bad.” But why? “Because I feel guilty (stupid, selfish.)” But why?
In only a few cycles of “whys” you will begin to understand your feelings in much more depth, feel some compassion for yourself, and perhaps give yourself a break instead of feeling bad for the rest of the day about something you said or some other situation.
Your goal is self understanding and compassion. Learn how to treat yourself at least as well as you treat others in your life!
To learn more about what I learned through my own transitions, please read my books: Midlife Magic: Becoming the person you are inside! and my Midife Change Workbook.
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Out with the old, in with the new!! Old habits die hard but eventually you see the truth in negative thoughts and behaviors, and the amazing thing is even if you fall back into them for a moment, you see what you are really doing, you don’t get mad or judge yourself, you accept it and realize that you just don’t want to do it anymore. It takes time and practice like anything in life, but eventually you get to the point of not wanting to go to your bad places anymore!