Where does authenticity come from?

by midlifecrisisqueen on October 11, 2009

Unfortunately, for many of us, true authenticity can only come from finding ourselves in desperate situations.  I am speaking from personal experience here.

I recently spoke to a room full of newly unemployed people, folks who had never really known that kind of desperation before.  At the end, the first question was,

“Do you have to reach that point of feeling like you have very little left to lose, before you can begin to acknowledge and appreciate your own uniqueness?”

My only answer was, “I did.”  Before that point, I still believed I had all the answers.  I still believed in the traditional American dream and felt like it was working for me to some extent.  In other words, I was still willing to ignore my deepest personal need to become my best self, because I had some sort of marriage and job and that felt safe.  Don’t fix it if it ain’t broken!

But when that all crumbles before your eyes, when everything you thought you knew about yourself and your future is no longer true, desperation CAN lead to inspiration.

The same can be said about marriage.  If you have a mediocre marriage that meets a few of your needs and you feel safe, you may stay in it, because the alternatives look grim.  But when that marriage ends, you are forced to become much more creative when thinking about your future.  You realize now anything could happen, and that can be refreshing and terrifying at the same time.

But if you are willing to take the necessary risks and take the time to invest in finding a better future for yourself, help is available.  If you are certain you don’t want to go back to the same old, same old or your life feels like it has turned into a 9-to-5 way of dying, you are now ready to change for the better.

You may be ready to find the courage inside to explore what you were put on this earth to do!

Remember: do-overs are indeed possible before it’s all over!

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Lia October 11, 2009 at 10:18 pm

Today was the Chicago Marathon and it was inspiring to see people cross the finish line after SEVEN hours…I hope they have gained a higher level of confidence in themselves. I can enumerate about 3 or 4 times where I didn’t take the easy way and threw caution to the wind. It fills me with an underlying confidence to know that I may be able to do what needs to be done when circumstances demand. It’s a comforting self-knowledge.

midlifecrisisqueen October 12, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Yes Lia! Isn’t it amazing when you complete a task that you were certain you wouldn’t be able to complete! When you set a difficult goal and then step out way beyond all the boundaries you had set in your own head.

That’s so exhilarating! That is life at it’s BEST!!!

Laura Lee aka the Queen!

Nancy Mehegan October 14, 2009 at 5:49 pm

I think many of us humans are complacent with inertia. Perhaps a desperate situation gets us off our “duffs” to do something? My saying is “the universe hits the EJECT button”.

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