“No matter how hard one searched, one could not find anyone in the universe more deserving of love than oneself.” -Buddha
I now believe one of the most important lessons I have learned from spending most of my adult life living alone, is the ability to soothe myself when things go wrong.
Yes, it’s always nice to have a lover or friend to soothe your sadness when life seems hopeless or when you begin to wonder: “Who stole the bright side?”
But it is also essential that we each find our own way of showing love and compassion to ourselves, when we find ourselves alone in times of loss, pain, grief or self-criticism.
Most of us were not taught the concept of self-compassion. In fact, many of us were raised to believe just the opposite. We learned well how to chastise others when THEIR lives didn’t work out as planned. We learned to call THOSE people losers, and then fiercely maintained the illusion that those kinds of misfortunes could NEVER happen to us. We were far too smart, in charge, together and superior.
Guess what happened then? Midlife crisis or some other traumatic life lesson which caused complete disillusionment. We could no longer deny that bad things happen to everybody, including us! What then? We were all alone and feeling like a total loser in every respect.
Time to learn about compassion for everyone including yourself. Time to admit that anything can happen to anybody at anytime. WHAT A BUMMER!
This is a good time to admit your own human frailty and fallibility, and learn how to love yourself through everything and anything, through thick and thin, while also acknowledging the truth in Regina Brett’s seventh jewel of life wisdom:
Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
To learn more about what I learned through my own midlife transformation, please read my books: Midlife Magic: Becoming the person you are inside! and my Midife Change Workbook.
