I’ve been thinking a lot about the many fortuitous misfortunes which happen in our lives, detours which often lead to some amazing bouts of self-discovery and positive transformation.
For example, I saw Garrison Keillor on PBS the other night. He told the story of his early years. His dream job at that time and only goal as a young writer, was to work at the New Yorker Magazine. Then fate stepped in with a timely and “fortuitous rejection” from the New Yorker, a rejection which lead to a very different future for him. He greatly appreciates the results of that misfortune today!
Sheryl Crow also now speaks of what she calls “detours” which show us we really have very little control over what happens next in our lives, even though we think we do. One week after she broke up with Lance Armstrong, she learned she had breast cancer. She feels these type of detours “remind us who we are and what is important in our lives.” After finding a cure for her cancer, she felt confident enough about her future to adopt a son and buy a ranch outside of Nashville.
These two celebrities are not experts on life. They just call them as they see them.
My own experiences have paralleled theirs. It seems sometimes the only way for life to get our attention when we are determined to pursue a path which may not be good for us, is by conking us over the head (sometimes literally!) with some apparently accidental happening or illness.
My fortuitous misfortunes have been many in the past few years. I now count my ex-husband and our mutual decision to divorce in 2001 to be among my luckiest. For without that major bump in the road, I never would have learned so much more about who I am and what I need to happen before I die.
By spending months alone with myself, studying who I am and how I relate to others, I created a personal transformation which then led to meeting many amazing and wonderful new people. For example, I met my soul mate and life partner Mike.
Without my divorce and subsequent job loss, I probably wouldn’t have learned how much better my life could be. I may never have experienced the kind of boundless, unconditional love and support I experience every day. And I certainly would not be the Midlife Crisis Queen!
Now I’m learning from some other misfortunes, a traumatic brain injury and a toxic case of Candida albicans. The lessons are varied and many, but the student is ready to learn!
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I’ve also had some fortuitous misfortunes which pushed me in directions I never thought I’d go. And I don’t regret any of them
Likewise. But it requires time and some further maturity for me to recognize what I thought was a roadblock as the stepping stone it truly became.
It’s all in your perspective I’ve found. Nobody could have convinced me that my divorce and job loss were going to lead to all sorts of wonderful changes in my life at the time. No one was ever wise by chance!!!
The Queen
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