I’ve heard and read a few different thoughts on this subject this week. That got me thinking about how we meet new people and connect with others these days.
First I heard a young woman on the local news say that she has learned that the best way to find a new job in this economy is to meet face-to-face with real people. She said that she had “networked” online for two years with no success. Those “virtual” friends just weren’t cutting it!
Then she decided to turn off her computer and get out and start meeting with others locally. She made sure that each person she met, lead to another contact until she started meeting the people she needed to, to connect to the type of job she wanted next.
She now insists the best way to find a new job is through direct personal connections with others at the companies you are interested in. It’s also a great way to find out where you really want to work!
Companies are being inundated with resumes right now. How can you stand out?
I have found that most of the “contacts” I have made online through my website and my blog are generally quite “virtual.” This is not to say there are guarantees that those we meet face-to-face are any more authentic, but online we tend to make contact for fun and attention and very little else
I have made the mistake a few times of thinking that I may have made some real connection with someone I have met online, only to find that I was just some passing fancy for those who need to be “meeting” new people all of the time.
We definitely should not confuse the “relationships” we create online with real connections with real people. I just joined Facebook because I was told to, but it reminds me a little too much of grade school somehow. “I’ll be your friend if you’ll be my friend” is not a relationship!
From my perspective, many of the new virtual networking “opportunities” fall under the heading of : Would you please go out and get a real life with real people!.
This brings us to the subject of blogs and what they have become. I like to think of them as a noble modern vehicle for individual self-expression and citizen journalism, as in “Freedom of the press is only available to those who own one.”
But now the blogosphere is being flooded with a tsunami of paid bilge and underground marketing campaigns that drown out the authentic voices of those of us who wish to reach the world in some meaningful way with our unique version of clever thought and original wordsmithery.
That is why I try to be honest in providing reviews of books and movies here that I either liked very much or loved. I haven’t added ads to my site because I tire of all those flashing, obnoxious ads everywhere I turn.
I have learned by promoting my own book, that those that know me personally in a face-to-face relationship of some sort are much more likely to buy my book. This has been a bit of a surprise to me because so many of you have been reading my blog for a while. I thought those that read my thoughts and ideas might be more drawn to read my book, but obviously personal relationships trump online connectedness every time.
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My experiences is a mixture of what you say. I’ve met some people online who’ve turned out to be real life connections, but what I see is that if we’ve really made a connection, whether for social or professional reasons, eventually we decide we need to meet in person. It’s almost like the physical connection seals the friendship. And I’m noticing more people online trying to make those connections through meet-ups and tweet-ups.
Thanks for dropping by and commenting on my post. Serial husbands is what a friend of mine calls men who want to marry right after divorce.
I decided I did not want to be a serial wife.
I came to discover after my divorce that so many of the people I considered friends were only fellow travelers, sharing the path while it was convenient or beneficial to do so.
Due to our own needs we tend to read more into the situation (family, friends & work relationships) than is truly available.
“You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd but you can be happy if you’ve a mind to”
Live and Learn.
Brad
Online connections are especially nice when people are homebound — health reasons, childcare, etc. But you’re so right. Online friendships do not provide the same degree or, in some cases, ANY degree of true support as real life, face-to-face friendships.
I’ve been using the Internet since 1996. I’ve had a blog for the past four years, have participated on message boards and commented on other people’s blogs, been a forum moderator, used Facebook and online chat, and for a while I owned and adminned my own message board.
I’m still not sure what to make of it all. The Internet has so much to offer, in many ways. But during the height of my forum involvement in 2007-08, I felt like I was back in High School … the gossiping, snarkiness, social games-playing and “drama”. (And these were mostly adults, not kids.)
High school was hell when I went through it as a teenager. I thought I’d left that all behind a long time ago, so to have it re-surface in my 50s was quite a surprise.
The best word I can use to describe online relationships (of any kind) is “ephemeral”.
Hey Kitty:
I love your style and your thoughtfulness.
Any chance you would be open to an interview to appear in my forthcoming book 50 Interviews with Bloggers?
High school WAS HELL! I don’t need a repeat on Facebook…
Laura Lee
Thanks so much, Laura, and I’d be happy to participate. It sounds like fun. You can reach me at kjulnw(at)gmail.com.