Should I try to change, even if I might fail?

“The hardest battle you will face in life is to be no one but yourself in a world which is trying its hardest to make you like everybody else.”

When life offers us opportunities for change in midlife, our first response is often anger and fear.  When faced with divorce, we may be sad that our plans and dreams have failed, and we now must start over from scratch alone.  When we lose our job, we are often angry that the health insurance and paycheck are not dependable anymore.  What now?

My own response to these crises was to first freak out, but then, upon further consideration,  realize the freedom that had just been handed to me.  I in fact had very little left to lose.  So why not try something completely different?

Next I reasoned that I hated my options in terms of dating and I needed a new job.  Why not start my own more personal version of a matchmaking service?  I researched this idea, while thinking about it obsessively for a month or two, then decided that time and unemployment checks were a wasting, so I launched a lovely new website and got some free publicity through my local newspaper.

Business boomed for a while.  I loved interviewing new clients and then setting up social situations for my clientele to mix and match.  We had parties, hikes, dinners and even a couple speed dating events.  It was fun!  I needed more older men for my women clients, so I signed up on Match.com to attract more men for the cause.  But in the end I realized I didn’t have the right personality for all the socializing.  I also didn’t like the pressure to constantly be attracting more clients.

My original contract with my clients was six months and around that time I decided to close down the business.  I had had a few successes, but I simply didn’t want to worry about it anymore.  About that time I met an amazing man through my Match.com posting and we started dating.

So, most would say my attempt at a midlife makeover was a failure.  I would disagree.  First of all, I learned so much about myself and what I love to do, by finding out what I don’t like to do.  Second, I inadvertently met the man of my dreams through my service, while making lots of cool friends, which led to many interesting contacts.  When my house payments ran out, I moved in with Mike and sold my house, thus freeing up some cold hard cash for other things.

Looking for a good investment?  Invest in yourself!

One of the investments I made after the non-success of my matchmaking business, was to hire a career counselor to guide me through the many options open to me now.  After a few sessions, she recommended that I try writing a free monthly column on “Dating after 50″ for a local newspaper.  A few months later I wrote an article for an HR magazine about the trauma of losing my job for the first time at age 49.  (Clips of my articles can be viewed at: www.lauraleecarter.com)

Through these various experiences and lots of encouragement, I realized I had always pictured myself as a writer, but assumed such a choice was far too risky and irresponsible.  In other words, I just couldn’t bring myself to give myself what I really wanted.

With more nudging, I decided to attend a local writing conference where I met and hired a fantastic writing coach.  Changing careers at 50 is such a challenge.  I knew I needed all the help I could get to jump start my career.

A few years after my job loss, I am amazed at what I have accomplished,  failures and all.  I’m writing and editing professionally, I have a popular blog, and I just completed my first book.

Life is good, and only because I took a chance, and failed as a professional matchmaker.

Tagged as: changing careers in midlife