So here’s a list of mistakes women make when assuming they understand men sexually.
1. Women think men are always ready for and always want sex. In real life there are many, many reasons why this is not true. Work stresses, financial pressure, concerns about aging and attractiveness can all dampen his enthusiasm for sexual fun. He isn’t a vibrator. You can’t just plug him in and expect him to perform on cue.
2. Women tend to think that sex is over once the man ejaculates. What’s to stop you from saying, “We’re not finished yet!” His mouth and hands are still fully functional!
3. Women don’t realize that sex can mean more than just a physical act to some men. For many men, sex is their primal form of giving in the relationship, a way for him to feel accepted both physically and emotionally. Since some men aren’t necessarily good with words or expressing emotions, sex may be their best way to express their love for you. Therefore, when you reject sex with him, it may feel like you’re saying, “I don’t like you” or “I don’t like being close with you.” Always make clear you’re saying no to sex, but not to cuddling and other forms of physical and emotional intimacy.
4. Women worry too much about their body image during sex, making them unnecessarily self-conscious or even uncomfortable. Yes, many men have the image of a super model sexual fantasy stuck in their brains somewhere, but at the moment they are making love to you, you are the sexiest woman alive to them! Remember, lots of men find women with lots of curves very sexy, and much more attractive than those skinny models you probably envy. Try sex with blind folds on sometime to relieve the self-consciousness.
5. Don’t give detailed instructions during sex. Just show him where and how to touch you in the best spots. Try letting out a little groan when he hits the jackpot!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
This is great. We women are often so focused on what we worry about, we can’t surrender to what actually IS. We often can only see our faults, and don’t even notice that he sees something completely different. We see ourselves as someone who’s “not enough,” and he sees us as “everything there is.”
Sex can be so much more than sex. It can be an opportunity for us to allow a man to give to us, just as you say. Sincerely, Rori
Thanks Laura Lee, always appreciate your insight and candor.
—- Carol