Have you heard yet about the recent findings of Jim Forward of the Warner Leisure Hotels?
His research shows that: “By the time a man reaches his fifties he has a wealth of experience under his belt, and will be wiser about the things which please a woman…When a man reaches the grand old age of 53, he will be wiser about what works, and will be more likely to make an effort.”
I don’t think of age 53 as grand or old, but my own personal experience agrees completely with these results! I met my present husband when I was 49 and he was 50. He was truly the most romantic man I could have imagined once we began dating regularly.
From opening the car door for me, to kissing me goodbye every day, Mike made it perfectly clear that I truly was the best thing that had ever happened to him. I, of course, loved all the special attention, but feared this was just a passing phase. I mean, it felt authentic enough, but how long can it last?
Now, over six years into our relationship, he still says he loves me and kisses me goodbye everyday, and his actions speak louder than these words.
Soon after we met, when I expressed the wish that we had met earlier in our lives, Mike insisted that I probably wouldn’t have liked him as much in his 30′s and 40′s. He said he was much more self-absorbed and egotistical, not to mention insecure, and he wasn’t all that much fun to be around then.
And when I think about it, I’m sure the same is true for me. Boundless insecurity rules most of our lives when we’re younger, and we seek anyone to help us just feel decent about ourselves. We really don’t have much to give at that age.
As we age and mellow, the important issues surface. What matters in life becomes oh so clear, and in my case that was a positive, loving relationship I could completely count on. For once in my life I wanted to experience authentic love, and I finally found it with my 50 year old.
I found a card recently that expressed all of this perfectly:
If I know what love is, it is because of you!
To learn more about how to experience authentic self-compassion and love for yourself, check out my new book: How to Believe In Love Again: Opening to Forgiveness, Trust and your own Inner Wisdom.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
L. L.
As a 50 something man I have to agree with you. I am far more the person I want to be now than ever before.
It’s my impression that after 40+ years of living in my ego cocoon that has been formed and shaped by the expectations of parents, teachers, society and advertisers, I’ ve broken free. The disappointments and defeats of Life have shown me the true value of living an authentic, peaceful and Loving Life.
I now live in Gratitude and Peace, able to freely express Love and appreciation for all the Blessings in my Life.
A few years back this was not the case and I wasn’t good company for anyone, not even myself.
We Live, we Learn, we grow.
Everything Changes!
just Love,
Brad
Brad:
So GLAD that we all can mellow out with age and finally enjoy life a little.
I’ve decided recently that living in gratitude is the key to a more rich and meaningful life.
Take care,
Laura Lee
As we get older we find the abundance in life as some have had major turning points in their life. Inner peace and acceptance is a part of every present moment.
It is refreshing to see that some men are beginning to understand what a woman wants and needs in a relationship. It doesn’t take much to sweep a woman off her feet, and a little romance and consideration is all it takes. A kiss, a note, a single rose…it’s that simple.
Yes Amy! You would think it was brain surgery for these guys to figure this out, and yet it is oh so simple…treat me like the relationship is important to you. Treat me the way you would like to be treated! Respect and appreciation are the key.
Laura Lee