1. smilin' brad

    Accepting the death of my dreams and escaping the insidous effects of emotional abuse has been the greatest challenge of my divorce. I also stayed in close proximity to my ex (we have two children) and my family (the source of much of my confusion) for years after and had great diffculty separating myself from all the ongoing drama. Once the kids were off to university I packed it in and moved 2,000 mile away to start afresh. I now understand my expectations were the expectations of my family, not mine alone and that I subjected myself to the abuse in an attempt to satisfy those expectations. I have developed a far clearer understanding of myself and my values and have established stronger (though flexible) boundries to support those values. I found my own strength and have the sense of self that allows me to open up to others again. This process has taken all of 10 years to complete but I now feel open to Life again!
    Hang in there, it gets better! It’s only temporary. Life is temporary!

  2. midlifecrisisqueen

    Thanks Brad, for sharing your experiences with us!
    Yes, sometimes it seems like it takes forever to change, but it’s sooooooo worth it!

  3. crista

    I did escape once, but fell back into it. I feel there is no way out when I have no helpful resource like a job, my own place, and friends/family nearby to be supportive. I feel so alone.

  4. Janies

    This comment is specifically for Crista:

    I once believed that there was no way for me to escape emotional abuse as well, as I had a well-paying job, yet I resided with the person who performed the emotional abuse. It was through constant prayer, conversations with family and friends, and pure courage from God that I was able to move out on a Monday night.

    Before I had the same thought process as you. I thought that there was no way to escape, but it was this thought in my mind that held me captive. I challenge you to seek the face of the Lord, allow him to change your thought process, provide you with people to share your experience with, and provide you with strength to get out the situation both mentally and physically…especially mentally.

    Currently, I am in a safe place with my real family and friends and getting my mind back, the most powerful tool of my being.

    I hope this helps.

  5. Jodie

    My husband has literally little by little torn me down and has secretly created with psychiatrists and psychologists a fantasy world in which I am an emotionally abusive wife and mother. We have “sort of” been separated for almost 2 years he does nothing for or with our three children except when it may make him appear to be socially acceptable. He constantly let’s the three boys down and withholds money and demands I pay for half if not more than half of everything when he makes 10 times more than I do. He screams in my face, comes and goes as he pleases to the family home, wakes me up in the middle of the night by slapping me and the tells me if I try to get child support, alimony , 1/2 of the funds from our home or any money from his 401k that I am a loser and nothing but a welfare recipient and I should kill myself because it would make everyone’s lives better and he would be rid of me and not have to go to jail. I am afraid to leave him with my children. I am terrified of him and what he will start to do to them . My attorney has never done anything for me and spent all of my money. I do not know what to do.

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