When you’re through changing, you’re through! -Will Rogers
I’ve been enjoying the Olympics lately, but not as much as I used to. I think in the past I could enjoy them more because, on some fantasy level, I still imagined that “I could have been a contender.” Not that I was ever in Olympic shape, but I felt pretty strong and healthy in general.
Now, for the first time, I’m forced to admit I will most certainly never be anywhere near that kind of shape. The years and menopause have taken their toll, not to mention my latest face plant off my bike. And recovery is sure slow at age 53!
But I still admire the Olympians’ single mindedness, especially the older ones! I was excited to see a 37 year old woman win a marathon, a 33 year old win a gymnastics medal (Germany) and a 41 year old American swimmer win a silver medal and compete in a relay where the US team also won a medal. We all know it ain’t as easy when you’re past 35 or 40!
We’re so used to thinking that the best athletes are in their teens or 20s. I’m very glad that these women and their great stories are getting mainstream media coverage!
On the other hand, what does this say about me? It says that I am a fairly typical midlife woman with too many pounds around my middle and flappy underarms. This is not new information, but the Olympics seems to remind me of it daily.
And there’s the midlife rub. Can we accept the changes in our minds and bodies as we age? Is that even a good thing, or should we try to “stay in shape”?
All I know for sure is that it’s a struggle either way. It’s a major struggle to try and stay in shape as we age, and it’s at least as much of a struggle to deal with the shame and guilt around “letting myself go.”
That is why self-acceptance and compassion are life skills we must brush up on in midlife. It all seemed so much easier in our earlier days to be both self-critical and critical of others. “Why don’t they take better care of themselves?” But our bodies become so much less forgiving of those extra calories as we age.
Perhaps there is some justice in aging. We all may finally see and have to acknowledge the slow downfall of all of our high ideals around our bodies. Arrogance goes out the window when we see that we too will lose the youthful body we were once so proud of.
What are we proud of now? I like to think I am proud of the wisdom I have gained through all of life’s challenges. I now know what I know and I know what I don’t know, and I’m not arrogant about any of it!
I’m just another woman in midlife trying to treat everybody fairly and without much judgment, especially myself!
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When I was in my twenties I looked at the oder women around me and thought, “Why do they let themselves go like that. I’ll never do that.” Now that I’m 56, I look back at that with more than a little chagrin. And the fact that I struggle to keep my weight down is probably karma as much as anything else.