I’ve noticed a regular stream of searches in GOOGLE on this subject. In fact, I’m beginning to think that feeling like a loser is one of the primary symptoms of a midlife crisis, as well it should be. How many people make sweeping changes in their life, if they feel like things are going as planned?
This often turns into the crisis vs. opportunity dilemma, or at least it should. Don’t despair! Be glad that it’s finally time to do things differently! We despair when we believe that we can’t change, but that is wrong, wrong, wrong! I am living proof that you can turn your life around whenever you become miserable enough to shout:
ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! I WANT A DIFFERENT LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!
The more you want it, the more likely it is to happen.
The first step is to recognize exactly what is not working. You’ve trusted in the sensible, practical side of your brain all these years and look where it has gotten you. Exactly where you don’t want to be! Now it’s time to take a leap of faith and start to pursue your heart’s desire, everything you thought you couldn’t possibly have.
In other words, it’s time to start taking risks. Analyze it to death if you must, but eventually the day will come when you will need to take a gigantic, scary leap of faith and begin reaching out for the life you’ve always wanted. How will you know if your dreams are impossible unless you at least give them a shot?
I’m not talking about any half-assed attempt here. I don’t mean “kind of” pursuing your dreams. I mean reaching out for EVERYTHING, on the off chance that it’s out there for you! I mean reaching inside yourself for as much courage as you’ve ever had. Fight like your life depends on it, because it does! Stand up for yourself and make a stand for your own integrity and self-respect.
Decide what you must have before you die, to feel good about your life. Is it one marvelous relationship? Is it some creative outlet that you’ve tried to ignore all these years? Is it lots of money? Is it world peace?
Whatever it is, don’t talk yourself out of it this time! Be completely honest with yourself. Enough of those irritating little voices in your head that tell you, you don’t deserve what you really want. You get to win this time! It’s now or never!
There’s no one else to blame for where you are right now, and no one to save you from the fate of mediocrity, except yourself. Are you up to this challenge?
To learn more about what I learned through my own transitions, please read my books: Midlife Magic: Becoming the person you are inside! and my Midife Change Workbook.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
What an inspirational post.
I especially like this: “Decide what you must have before you die, to feel good about your life.”
Thanks BearNaked! I remember I had to get majorly scared, frustrated, and angry before I was willing to start changing things in my life! -The Queen
Stumbled onto your site…this post to be exact while doing as you put it, a google “midlife loser” search.
Thank you…it was just what I needed to hear.
Thank you! That’s exactly the reason why I write this blog.
The Queen
That’s about the most uplifting thing I’ve read in a while, very well said:)
Thank you Paul, I do what I can. Please consider my book Midlife Magic for more support in midlife.
-Laura Lee
Queenie! thanks for your article. i’ve been going through these emotions. developed a drinkin and smokin habit as a result of my workplace–which began sabotaging my down time and personal life. for 10 years, livin contract by contract, year by year…well its ending soon. and when it ends, first priority: get healthy; next: take a risk to realize a dream.
Good Luck going after what you really want Pat!
Wake up everyday and say: “What do I want to happen today?” and ask for EXACTLY what you want! You CAN change your life!
-Queenie!
It would be nice to turn this in to a meeting place for people who have no idea how to get started.
Hey SkinGirl! Tell me more about how that would work…
Laura Lee