“We can change the world. Rearrange the world. It’s dying-to get better!” -Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (1970)
I continue to think about and research the idea that midlife is the time of the highest rate of depression and even suicide worldwide. I want to understand to my own satisfaction what this is all about. Why is midlife such a turbulent time in so many peoples’ lives?
I started reading Marianne Williamson’s book The Age of Miracles: Embracing the new midlife yesterday, and it gave me some new ideas. It made me start thinking about the various disillusionments specific to the baby boomer generation.
We were the generation that saw all the problems and gross injustices in the world, and we were going to change all that. We felt powerful in our youth and smarter than those stupid adults! “Don’t trust anybody over 30!” Now it seems that the world is far worse off than it was 30 years ago and we are at least partially responsible…how depressing!
I know that I struggle with simply accepting the fact that I will soon be an elder in this culture, a culture that does not honor the power of aging or the wisdom of experience. Who wants to be an elder in a society that does not respect its elders? Especially when you know that you have learned one hell of a lot by living here for over 50 years! One would have to be fairly stupid not to increase their wisdom with age. But who will ever listen to us or believe us?
Perhaps this is a part of the reason why we don’t want to be 40 or 50 something…we haven’t changed the world, and we sometimes feel we can barely change ourselves into something we can love! We feel the full weight and responsibility of a world full of egos out of control and injustice, and can barely manage our own lives at times.
Add to that the hormonal changes we are all experiencing to various degrees which sometimes cause confusion, depression and general emotional and physical discomfort…and “Houston, we have a problem!”
It helps me a lot to hang out with my elders. I take an exercise class with a room full of people over 60. I find their humor and wisdom quite entertaining and reassuring. When I complain about my hot flashes they just say, “This too shall pass.” When I complain about my arthritis and general aches and pains they say I would be an unusual human being if I didn’t have a few of those by the age of 53.
Aging is normal and sure beats the alternative. And my elders remind me of that everyday!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Great observations! I’ve been working on the Web for a long time, and live in a community with far more 30-somethings than 60-somethings so I tend to forget about age a lot of the time until someone in a restaurant asks me if my colleague is my kid! Which is possible since so many of them are the ages of my children. I’m beginning to realize though that I need both age cohorts in my life – both for shared memories and – as you so wisely noted — for a reality check!
Yes Cynthia! I only started this exercise class because it was good for my body, but now I see HOW IMPORTANT it is for my attitude and my mind! I am truly inspired by the many very COOL friends I’ve made over 70! The cover of my new book was designed and created by one of those friends!!!
Laura Lee