There is no past, there is no future, there is only this moment.
Most of us like to think we are very friendly with our money. We think we have a good relationship with it, but do we? Do we actually torture ourselves with the ways we think about retirement? Can we some day relax enough to retire comfortably and without money worries?
I enjoyed reading an article in the April 2008 MONEY magazine called: “What do you really want from your money?” There, the author George Mannes suggests, that financial planners have a much greater job to do than just coaching us through the intricacies of saving enough and in the right mutual funds. I agree, but most financial planners don’t have the interest, temperament or counseling skills to pull this off.
I have studied this problem from a couple different perspectives. For example, my ex found all of his personal security in money. Sure, he accumulated a lot, but that didn’t matter because he was never going to have enough to feel happy and secure. I see lots of millionaires and billionaries who seem to have that same illness. When will these people ever have enough? It’s obviously a serious addiction for some.
Most of us don’t have that problem, but we still worry about money, and especially having enough for retirement. The MONEY article says that George Kinder has developed three questions which suggest hypothetical scenarios about your future and money. The idea is to get you to focus on what your greatest priorities are, and to help you think seriously about your belief system and your emotional relationship with money.
The first is: Imagine that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything?
The second is: Imagine your doctor says you have only five to ten years to live. You won’t feel sick, but you’ll never know when death will come. What will you do? Will you change your life? How?
The third is: Now imagine that your doctor says you have only one day left to live. Ask yourself: What did I miss? What did I not get to be or do?
The point is that most of us have been raised to believe that money is the most important determining factor in how we live our lives. We live in the present, but mostly FOR the future, and yet we have no idea how long we will live.
One of the most important lessons of my midlife crisis was to learn to live in the here and now, or tomorrow may look mighty grim. When I stopped in midlife and thought seriously about my future, I realized I didn’t want any of the things my life was leading to. I didn’t want a future with my present husband. I didn’t want to be a librarian forever just because I felt stuck in that job. It opened up a million new possibilities, and I finally felt free to choose a different life.
Ain’t divorce and job loss grand! There really are do-overs before it’s all over!
