Extraordinary Courage

Everyday we wake up, not knowing what might happen next. And still we get up and try to make the most of it. This I call extraordinary courage.

At a recent commemoration of the Big Thompson Canyon Flood here in northern Colorado, we congregated to remember the 144 souls who perished on the night of July 31, 1976. Thirty years later we sit and think about one of the most deadly flash floods in Colorado’s recorded history. My thoughts turn to the individuals who woke up that morning thirty years ago with no idea that by the end of the day, they would be dead.

We are born with absolutely no guarantees of what this life might bring our way, into a family that is not of our choosing. We slowly develop ways to maintain the illusion that we somehow control what happens to us, although the truth is, we control very little. Disease or disaster can strike at any time. And when it does, we are shocked and disbelieving. “How did this happen to me?” “Did I do something to deserve this catastrophe?”

At age 52, I have seen enough to conclude that the process of our lifecycle is equivalent to a series of losses. If we live long enough, the losses usually include the loss of youth and physical health, beauty, jobs, friends and loved ones, and the loss of memories both happy and sad.

What we do with these losses is what counts. Do we have the internal resources to parlay them into self-discovery, new coping skills, deeper learning, compassion for ourselves and others, and true wisdom? Or will these losses lead to a life of disillusionment and despair?

The wise words of Plato come to mind:

“Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Most won’t tell you about their own interior battles unless you know them well and they trust you implicitly, but we are all fighting a hard battle. The ill child or co-worker, the festering marital conflicts, the difficult relationships at work, we all have experience with these things.

But when was the last time you offered understanding and support to a fellow friend or officemate to help lighten their burden a bit? What have you learned from your own experiences with pain and loss that might benefit those around you? This is the most important gift we can offer those that share our lives.