Life is full of surprises [and delays]

by midlifecrisisqueen on August 19, 2014

View from our landOK, I know I wrote on July 9th  “full speed ahead on our solar home.”

Life and our county building inspector (yes, there’s only one for the entire county!) had other plans…

Yesterday we finally received our building permit.  For the first time ever, they had ten house plans ahead of us, and, of course every excavator and concrete company in the area is now busy for the next month or so.  Such is life…

Being a naturally impatient person, I am learning my lessons, but slowly.  This house will take some serious time to materialize and I must now relax, because anxiousness will only make me uncomfortable and will not make this happen any faster.

In the meantime I am finally getting used to small town life.  For an impatient person, the pace of life here can be a challenge, but I’m learning how to deal.  Nobody seems to be in a hurry, but things still do get done somehow.  My ego must now take a break.

Sunflowers in Walsenburg house I was surprised to find no flower shops here… where do they buy flowers?  Then today I realized there are sunflowers everywhere, just cut some.

That’s a good example of how things are different here… I guess I’ll spend some more time on that old “illusion of control” issue.

Acceptance releases everything to be what it already is!


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Bridging the lifelong struggle with your parents

by midlifecrisisqueen on August 15, 2014

Hollyhocks 2After only 59 years of thought, I have come up with my own assessment of why we struggle so much to feel close with our parents, and how that can change in midlife.  Yesterday, like a brain storm out of the blue, I felt like I finally understood the complete dynamic.

When we are young, we want to feel close with our parents and yet we struggle with being ourselves around them.  We know there are certain thoughts and behaviors they don’t like, and so we begin hiding our true selves from them.

This only grows as we grow.  We learn more about who we really are and want to be free to express who we are, and yet we also know our parents don’t necessarily appreciate everything about our genuine self.  Over the decades we grow further apart, because we don’t feel safe to be ourselves around them.

With midlife we must begin to acknowledge that our lives will end, and this brings up so many sad feelings about our parents’ demise.  Should we be more honest with them about exactly who we are?  Wouldn’t we love for them to know and accept us exactly the way we are before they die?

And our parents also change with age.  If we are lucky, they may become more open and accepting of us as they age.  Why not at least give them a chance to know who we are now?

Watching the Dirt Band at FIR blogOur life cycle begins with pulling ever more away from our parents when we are young, to individuate ourselves as unique and separate.  That is healthy human behavior.  But then, if we are lucky, we may circle back to a new kind of closeness, as we all grow into a relationship of mutual love and respect for our differences.

The ideal?  A relationship where we truly know each other, with acceptance and love for exactly who we are, and how we are different.

So next time you spend time with your parents, why not risk being a little more honest about who you are, and see what happens.  You might be pleasantly surprised…

“The person who comes to understand his parents can forgive the world.”   — Erik Blumenthal



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On our first exploratory trip down to this rural area west of Walsenburg in southern Colorado last October, we were first impressed with the amazing mountains, and the BIG SKY down here!  We camped at Lathrop State Park, and soon after dark my husband suddenly exclaimed:                          “Wow, I can see the whole Milky Way!” Thus [...]

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Boomer Blog Festival: The Super Moon Fall Harvest Edition

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Have you noticed it lately? The slightest hint of a chill in the air sometimes at night… the vaguest suggestion that summer will soon be over.  Autumn is my favorite season until the leaves begin to disappear a couple months from now.  I think autumn is the perfect time to draw your attention to the [...]

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I am so proud of my sister!

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Although I rarely mention her, I think my sister is an amazing human being!  Diane Carter started her own Internet-based national nursing organization 15 years ago from her home… Today the American Association of Nurse Assessment Coordination (AANAC) exists because Diane feels so strongly that everyone in long-term care facilities deserves a good environment to [...]

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There’s a place in the sun… and it’s solar-powered!

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Moving on, moving on… One thing I learned from my own midlife crisis: Pay close attention to any words or songs on your mind when you first wake up.  This is your unconscious mind speaking directly to you! This morning I woke up singing: “There’s a place in the sun” by Stevie Wonder….                           [...]

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