Caring for your aging parents – Barbara McVicker

by midlifecrisisqueen on November 25, 2009

I am excited to have another new guest post today.  Barbara McVicker is one of the many well-known national speakers I met through my research for our new book: 50 Interviews:  Professional Speakers, which should be out by the end of 2009.  Our first volume contains 25 full interviews with some of the top speakers in America today, answering questions like how they got started in their speaking careers, and why they love what they do (besides the big paychecks!)

barbara mcvicker photoBarbara started out only a few years ago, after experiencing personally the difficulties of raising two children, while struggling to maintain her career, and care for her ailing parents.  Overwhelmed and feeling isolated, she eventually quit her job to care for her parents full-time.

In 2006 she transitioned into her work as an elder care expert by interviewing other caregivers, while researching and writing her book:  Stuck in the Middle: Shared stories and tips for caregiving your aging parents. Then she struck out as a speaker with her book as her business card, and the rest is history!     Here’s a short piece by Barbara:

Just when I thought it was finally time for me, the inevitable phone call came, shattering my well-planned life.  My elderly parents needed me.  A new chapter of my life was beginning, one for which I was totally unprepared.  I did not know that I was now embarking on a ten year journey—taking care of my mom and dad.

For most people this phone call comes because Mom has fallen and landed in the emergency room with a broken hip.  But my parents are not normal.  My father had just sent $68,000 in cashier checks to Canada because he received a phone call saying that he had won the Canadian Lottery.

We midlife daughters may be totally prepared for child rearing, but we are thoroughly unprepared for caregiving aging parents.  How can we be so naive as to think that we will not have to take on this new job with all of its conflicts and emotions?

As I meet with others while presenting talks around the U.S., I often hear about how stressful caregiving can be.  I have found that even happy families can become dysfunctional while taking care of elderly parents.  One lady told me that taking care of her father was more stressful than her own divorce.

So what are we to do?  Prepare yourself now with the essential information, emotional support, and crucial conversations before the crisis arrives.  Have family discussions sooner rather than later so that all generations know the wishes of their parents.  Are you ready?

Barbara McVicker is a national speaker, HR consultant, and author of Stuck in the Middle…shared stories and tips for caregiving your elderly parents.

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Thoughts from Dan Brown’s “The Lost Symbol”

by midlifecrisisqueen on November 22, 2009

lost symbol book tinyJust finished Dan Brown’s new book and I cannot say that I loved it.  Of course I wasn’t crazy about the Da Vinci Code either.  His writing is mediocre at best, but I do enjoy learning some philosophy, science and history along the way.

There are a number of interesting ideas discussed in “The Lost Symbol,” but the one I enjoy exploring the most is at the very end of the book.  Katherine, a scientist involved in research into the Noetic sciences, appears to be a composite of many of the leading figures in this real-life area of study. Here’s their own description of what the Noetic Sciences are:

“The word “noetic” comes from the Greek word nous, for which there is no exact equivalent in English. It refers to “inner knowing” or a kind of intuitive consciousness—direct and immediate access to knowledge beyond what is available to our normal senses and power of reason. As defined by psychologist-philosopher William James in 1902, noetic refers to “states of insight into depths of truth unplumbed by the discursive intellect. They are illuminations, revelations, full of significance and importance, all inarticulate though they remain; and as a rule they carry with them a curious sense of authority…”

Noetic sciences use scientific methods to explore the “inner cosmos” of the mind (consciousness, soul, spirit) and how it relates to the “outer cosmos” of the physical world. In other words, they study how people come to know things or affect things through experiences or capacities (intuitions, synchronicities, psi, “after-death” communication, energy healing, etc.) that have no apparent rational explanation, and what this says about the nature of human consciousness.”

Near the very end of the book, Katherine starts talking about how powerful thoughts can be in impacting our world, the astounding power of focused conviction and intention.  Do our minds have the power to change physical matter, and literally manifest all that we desire?

Katherine says yes, but well-directed thought is a learned skill, one which some of us have far greater natural ability with than others.   To manifest an intention requires laser-like focus, full sensory visualization, and a profound belief in what you are attempting to create.

This, in the end, is what this book is about.  We humans need to finally acknowledge our own power of intention, the power of our minds to manifest a better world, and then use that focused energy to change our present reality.  I hope there is still time.

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Best Boomer Blogs Around!

November 22, 2009

Go take a peek at the latest Blogging Boomers Carnival over at VaBoomer!

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I’m beginning to dread a lot about Christmas…

November 20, 2009

We had barely gotten past Halloween when the onslaught of  “holiday” commercials began.  I think it was a Walmart ad.  All I remember clearly was the personal panic that immediately set in.
It must be my age.  Every year I now face the “holidays” with increasing dismay and trepidation instead of the usual joy.  They make [...]

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After the kids leave – long distance loving

November 17, 2009

Because I have no experience with an empty nest, and this issue is such an important part of many baby boomers’ midlife transition, I asked my friend Quinn to share her own feelings on her son’s 25th birthday.  Quinn is great at capturing the emotions of missing your kids as they venture out on their [...]

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Michael Jackson’s “This is it”

November 14, 2009

I went back and forth about seeing this movie.  As it turns out, I’m very glad I saw it!  I didn’t realize until halfway through it, why it was an important film for me to see right now.
I knew I would love hearing Michael’s music again.  He really was an amazing song writer and performer, [...]

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What is wrong with our health care system…

November 14, 2009

In the past two weeks, I learned in full detail what does not work about our health care system, and why it is most certainly killing people.  Here’s what happened to us:
Mike woke up last Monday (two weeks ago!)  with serious difficulties breathing.  He saw his GP twice last week, receiving a chest x-ray and [...]

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One woman’s search for her passion

November 13, 2009

We have a Colorado-based writer who likes to give talks about finding your passion.
Shari Caudron found herself at a crossroads when she turned forty.   She tried out many new activities, but could not figure out what she loved to do.  She tried Scrabble, showshoeing, Buddhism, and bridge, just to name a few.
She said, “Through all [...]

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The 50+ set is into online dating!

November 12, 2009

Here’s an interesting article about online dating in the 50+ age group.

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On feeling more vulnerable

November 11, 2009

“For to resist life’s ubiquitous and inevitable impermanence is to suffer, and to accept change with compassion is to transcend suffering.” -Laura Lee
I realized the other day on a long walk, that one of the most important and yet seldom recognized qualities of aging, is ever increasing feelings of vulnerability.  What does that mean?
The dictionary [...]

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